I've been here million times..... we all have.
The only thing different about this time, for me, is usually I know where I am going, but this time I have no plan.
If I go right I stay young. I have crazy wild times. I run away and I buy my trailer of joy and I own my own motorcycle and I see the world. I stay young. I live life to absolute fullest and experience it. I leave my friends and my family, but I meet new people. I become a modern day gypsy- I wander, and I wing it, and I never know for sure where I'll be next or what I'll have for dinner, or if I'll even be able to afford dinner. I hold onto my youth as long as possible. I'd be taking huge risks and all I could do is hope that everything worked out. If I go right I stay wild and crazy, but in the end I may end up lonely. 
If I go left I end up in a different place. I stay where I am and I build my career. I stay with what I know is safe and with the people I love. I probably would end up getting married and starting a family. Everything would be stable, and predictable, but I would have love and always have someone there for me. I'd always have someone to hold at night and arms to keep me warm. If I go left I'd have stability, but I could never settle for an average life.
I don't know when I will have to decide, but the time is coming. Whichever
way I go will take me far from this place I am now. I maybe look too far into this, but whenever I think about my life right now, and all of the actual intersections I have come to while driving, I always wonder where I would be if I had gone a different direction then the one I chose. Where would I be? Who would I be? I guess the only way to chose which way is best is to pick one and start heading down it........ but which should I chose. Maybe it's time to grow up, but then again this is the only time I have to be young. 
Hello stranger,
ReplyDeleteI, like everyone else, was faced with a similar situation a few years back. My story:
I was in school, with an sociology major, moving towards an eventual law school degree. I didn't like it... at all. So, I dropped out, headed west, and became a professional poker player. I thought "telling the man to go to hell" and making my own money in this world would bring happiness. It didn't.
I couldn't figure out why I was so damned miserable. Eventually, I lost all passion for the game, moved back to Utah, and went back to school. I kid you not, I graduated from law school a week ago. I look back now and know why I was miserable then and why I'm happy now.
I currently have the opportunity to head out to a place I love, San Diego, and become a pro-bono attorney. I'll wake up, head to the office, and help people all day long. People who are at wits end, thinking nothing can pull them out of what they're going through. That's where I come in. I'm happy now because I, as cheesy as it sounds, get to help people. I only helped myself playing poker... there's no joy in that.
You of all people should know about service Tilly. You wake up everyday and try to make people's lives brighter in any way you can. So, my advice to you, if you want it, is to take whichever road has you continuing to serve others and not yourself. Good luck to you wherever you go Tilly!
- Nathan Bailey
Thanyou Nathan I love this :)
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