Tilly's marketing/relationship theory.

EDC Las Vegas 2012 

EDC mainstage 

I read an article about marketing the other day. It said too many people spend time trying to get people to like a product instead of spending time making their product something people would like. I went to EDC last weekend and it was amazing. I found it interesting they had almost tripled the amount of tickets they sold last year. However anyone who went can easily see how they did this. They put millions of dollars into making the event amazing. From the costumes, to the artists, to the stage set up, to the rides, to the v.i.p area. I myself saw one video trailer for the actual event AFTER my ticket had already been bought. I didn't see anyone looking for or asking people to come to EDC, no one wrote me on facebook and invited me to that party. From my point of view they took all the extra money that would have gone into promoting and put it into the event and creating an experience that people would walk away and talk about for months, thus doing all the promoting for them. I expect next year will be even bigger and better.

That being said I think this form of marketing also applies to people and relationships. I see so many people looking for love. Going to insane lengths trying to get someone's attention or someone's interest. If these people would take all of that time and energy and put it into themselves---> their career, their hobbies, or their personal growth, they would probably already be with the type of person they wanted to be with.  exp.  Shaun White can probably have his pick of any girl he wants. If he hadn't spent time practicing snowboarding and instead spent it looking for love, trying to hook up with girls, or trying to be cool who would Shaun White be? Nobody. It's because he followed his dream and got really good at what he loves to do. While the rest of his crew was probably out hitting on chicks at the bar he was boarding down a mountain and becoming an amazing athlete. Now girls come to him. Stop thinking about trying to date someone and start thinking of what you can do to better yourself. Get really good at a sport, hobby, or perfect a talent.  Go to the gym and get a sexy body. Learn how to do your hair/ makeup/clothes to make yourself look better.  Read books and learn new things so you can carry a conversation well.  Focus on your work and having a good career. Think of what you look for in a person and become that yourself.

I think it would be better to do all of this just because you love yourself, but it will help you to attract people as well. This is just my thoughts on it. I'm not saying I'm wrong or right, but I have seen and heard alot about relationships from all of my clients and friends and this is what I've come up with..... it's worth a shot. No matter what if you end up being a better person it's all worth it.

Things I would tell my younger high school self.

Highschool is only four years long. NOBODY is going to care how popular you were after you graduate.

 Don't worry about being cool, not being invited to parties, or having to stay home on a saturday night. There is so many amazing things coming up.

 Enjoy the time with our family, because you will miss them.

Be nicer to mom, she just cares and she actually knows what she's talking about. You're lucky to have her....LISTEN!!!

Don't cut your hair off!! Don't ever try and cut your own bangs- not cute.

Be nice to the guys that are nice to you, not the guys that look nice.

Spend time with your girlfriends. The best memories you have will be running around with the girls.

Don't get involved with a guy and think it's going to last forever. Don't let a guy control any part of your life, and don't let anyone talk you into anything you don't want to do.

Just because "everyone is doing it" doesn't mean it's a good thing to do. You don't have to be a leader, but you also don't have to be a follower.. just be you. :)

Be nice to people... You never know how what you say can effect someone for the rest of their life. You don't know what others have to go home to... be compassionate.

Don't cheat on anyone if you do date- it's far worse to hurt people and you will lose more then you ever gained.

Just because you aren't a math wiz doesn't mean your aren't smart and talented. Let's just say you're better at other things. :))

Don't be so eager to grow up.. enjoy right now. You have the rest of your life to pay bills, drink, date, and  
be a grown up. So for now just have fun being young and only worrying about your next math test.

Big things are coming. :)) Life doesn't go how you expect... but it is going better then you could have ever imagined.

Duh. Why didn't I think of that.

I had a little four year old girl sit in my chair today. As I was 

cutting her hair she asked how my hair cutting cape had gotten

 a hole in it.. I said "someone must have cut it." She looked up

and said " do you think it was a leprechaun?" This made me 

smile.. I wish I still thought that way :)) (I told her it definitely 

was probably a leprechaun...leprechauns are ninja) ♥

A life lesson from a bike lesson.

When my mom was teaching my little brother to ride a bike he kept falling over and couldn't seem to get the hang of it. After many scrapes and bruises he jumped off the bike and ran in the house, when he came out he was shoving something in his pocket. He hopped back on the bike and road it perfectly, my mom was a little shocked and later asked him what it was that he put in his pocket.. he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper with a picture he had drawn of himself riding a bike. He said "I knew I could ride it because I saw myself ride it already." - visualization is everything. You'll never be able to do what you want if you can't even picture it ♥ ( I now draw pictures of myself living all my dreams ... so it's going to happen!

Blue isn't my color

I was walking around good old Walmart the other day and I couldn't help but notice the people working there. I started thinking to myself (how did  this become their life?) How did they end up doing the monotonous job of scanning item after item, day after day. When these people walking around in their blue vests were little I doubt they got up in class and said "I want to be a Walmart cashier when I grow up." (stylish as the blue vests may be) I don't think anyone wants to aspire to that.  What happened to that childhood dream? What happened to being a doctor, or being an astronaut, or a famous cook on a cooking show? I can't see these people having a real passion for price checks. I wonder what stopped them? I decided right then and there that would never be my life. I have to follow my dreams. I have to be a fashion designer, an artist, the best hairstylist, a dancer, own several companies, and change the whole world. I don't care how long it takes. I don't care how hard it gets. I don't care who says I can't, or what obstacles come my way. I will always follow that dream. I will never settle for less. I will never be content in one of those blue vests, and even if life brings me to that I will never stop trying or striving for more.

The day you lose sight of your dreams and passion is the day you cease to really live. 

I could go left..... or I could go right...

I've been here  million times..... we all have.

The only thing different about this time, for me, is usually I know where I am going, but this time  I have no plan.

 If I go right I stay young. I have crazy wild times. I run away and I buy my trailer of joy and I own my own motorcycle and I see the world. I stay young. I live life to absolute fullest and experience it. I leave my friends and my family, but I meet new people.  I become a modern day gypsy- I wander, and I wing it, and I never know for sure where I'll be next or what I'll have for dinner, or if I'll even be able to afford dinner. I hold onto my youth as long as possible. I'd be taking huge risks and all I could do is hope that everything worked out. If I go right I stay wild and crazy, but in the end I may end up lonely.

If I go left I end up in a different place. I stay where I am and I build my career. I stay with what I know is safe and with the people I love. I probably would end up getting married and starting a family. Everything would be stable, and predictable, but I would have love and always have someone there for me. I'd always have someone to hold at night and arms to keep me warm. If I go left I'd have stability, but I could never settle for an average life. 

I don't know when I will have to decide, but the time is coming. Whichever

way I go will take me far from this place I am now. I maybe look too far into this, but whenever I think about my life right now, and all of the actual intersections I have come to while driving, I always wonder where I would be if I had gone a different direction then the one I chose. Where would I be? Who would I be? I guess the only way to chose which way is best is to pick one and start heading down it........ but which should I chose. Maybe it's time to grow up, but then again this is the only time I have to be young. 

From ruins comes transformation.

Woah! Where did I go wrong... A week earlier we had been so... perfect. We had the kind of love that people write poems, movies, and books about. We were the couple that everyone wanted to be like. I couldn't get enough of him, and I thought he couldn't get enough of me. Every plan I made for the future included him. He was my plan. He was supposed to be my future. I always told him I could live in a cardboard box with him and never need anything else. I was soooooo in love. How could this freaking happen?

  I remember just laying on my floor crying and feeling like I died. (part of me did) It felt like I couldn't even breathe or that I'd been hit by a never ending train that just kept going && going over my heart with all of  it's boxcars attached to it. A million thoughts raced through my head. Did he ever even love me!? Am I too fat? Is she prettier? Did I not do enough? Was I too much? (probably)........What do I do now? What do I like? I didn't even know who I was without him. From that day on for the next couple of months I tore myself apart.. I broke myself down and tortured myself for every flaw I thought I had.
             I started drinking a lot, I cried almost every day. I read every break up manual they had and I looked up every article I could find on how to get him back. I hung out with my best friends, and they would listen to  me go on for hours. Thank goodness for best friends. I noticed the busier I was the less it hurt, so I stayed busy. I got a new apartment. I got a dog. I started going out. I danced. I started doing yoga. I thought a lot about life. I listened to music. I cried. I stopped reading books about how to get him back and started reading books about how to get me back. I filled my time with things I wanted to do. Things he would never let me do or liked to do. I watched sunrises and sunsets and realized the beauty in both. I went on walks. I went on dates. I learned to cook. I met lots of people. I dyed my hair (a couple times) I bought new clothes. I went to Vegas (twice!). I hung out with my friends more and my family. I did everything I could. I took things one day at a time and eventually the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months.I thought about him less and less until eventually I realized it had been weeks since he had even crossed my mind. Now it's been a long time, and I don't even remember what it was like being in love or why I was sad. I always look back to the day I was crying on the floor and  realize how insecure and unsure of myself I was. I didn't even know me.  I realize now that I found something worth losing him over... I found myself. Now I know what I like. Now I know what I want to do. I realized when everything falls apart it may be very hard to handle, but it also makes room to rebuild something new, something beautiful, and something stronger then what was there before." From ruins comes transformation."
.( -quote from the book Eat.pray.love)